Ever Look in the Mirror with Your Shirt Off and Think: What the F*ck?
Ever try picking up a sport you used to love, only to find yourself gassed after five minutes?
Yeah—meet me in 2016.
A mix of lingering injuries and brutal social anxiety meant college didn’t go well for me after high school. I stopped playing sports, quit the gym, and spent my weekends downing pint after pint just to feel like I fit in.
Within three years of leaving school, I’d gained four stone, was out drinking every weekend without fail, and eating takeaways almost daily. I’d become the complete opposite of who I was in school.
Back then, I was the definition of a model student—predicted As across the board, fit as a fiddle, and living and breathing sport. I was playing cricket five times a week, boxing for fitness, hitting the gym four times a week, and jumping into any athletics I could after school.
At 16, I had trials for Lancashire County Cricket Club. That was the level I was at. But then came injury, and everything I’d worked toward came to a halt.
So... what the f*ck happened?
Ages 18–21—what’s supposed to be the best years of your life—became my "what the f*ck" years. Deep down, I knew something had to change, but I was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction and negative thinking with no clue where to start.
Eventually, I went back to cricket—something I’d always loved and where I had a supportive crew around me. But the real shift came during a 9-month stint in Simpson, Victoria, Australia. I was working on a dairy farm, completely out of my element, but it was the break I didn’t know I needed.
Living out there, far from everything I knew, I found clarity. I also worked behind the bar in a local pub—huge for someone like me who’d always been shy and struggled with social anxiety. It forced me to open up, chat to strangers, and build a bit of confidence socially. I’m still introverted now, but that experience gave me the push I needed.
That time in Australia gave me more than just perspective—it gave me belief. I faced fears I’d been carrying for years. One of the biggest was my fear of heights, which had stopped me from pursuing tree surgery after college. But out there, with a new mindset, I decided it was time to face it. I got back into the industry, and haven’t looked back since.
Back home, I returned to the gym and slowly chipped away at the 20kg I’d gained. Morning runs became part of my routine. I bought a pull-up and dip station, got back into a proper rhythm, and dropped about 10kg over the next few months.
I built a solid routine, ran a half marathon, and started to really enjoy calisthenics—hitting 20+ pull-ups, dips, and even knocking out a few muscle-ups. I sorted my diet, got down to 80kg, and felt sharper in every way.
Complacency Can Hit Just as Hard as a Downward Spiral
Then came a move into a new house. A mundane routine and a painful back injury slowly pushed fitness to the side again.
So now I’m writing this blog—to motivate myself, reflect on where I’ve been, and document the process of getting back on track.
If any of this hits home, I hope you find something in it that sparks your own reset.
Ever try picking up a sport you used to love, only to find yourself gassed after five minutes?
Yeah—meet me in 2016.
A mix of lingering injuries and brutal social anxiety meant college didn’t go well for me after high school. I stopped playing sports, quit the gym, and spent my weekends downing pint after pint just to feel like I fit in.
Within three years of leaving school, I’d gained four stone, was out drinking every weekend without fail, and eating takeaways almost daily. I’d become the complete opposite of who I was in school.
Back then, I was the definition of a model student—predicted As across the board, fit as a fiddle, and living and breathing sport. I was playing cricket five times a week, boxing for fitness, hitting the gym four times a week, and jumping into any athletics I could after school.
At 16, I had trials for Lancashire County Cricket Club. That was the level I was at. But then came injury, and everything I’d worked toward came to a halt.
So... what the f*ck happened?
Ages 18–21—what’s supposed to be the best years of your life—became my "what the f*ck" years. Deep down, I knew something had to change, but I was stuck in a cycle of self-destruction and negative thinking with no clue where to start.
Eventually, I went back to cricket—something I’d always loved and where I had a supportive crew around me. But the real shift came during a 9-month stint in Simpson, Victoria, Australia. I was working on a dairy farm, completely out of my element, but it was the break I didn’t know I needed.
Living out there, far from everything I knew, I found clarity. I also worked behind the bar in a local pub—huge for someone like me who’d always been shy and struggled with social anxiety. It forced me to open up, chat to strangers, and build a bit of confidence socially. I’m still introverted now, but that experience gave me the push I needed.
That time in Australia gave me more than just perspective—it gave me belief. I faced fears I’d been carrying for years. One of the biggest was my fear of heights, which had stopped me from pursuing tree surgery after college. But out there, with a new mindset, I decided it was time to face it. I got back into the industry, and haven’t looked back since.
I built a solid routine, ran a half marathon, and started to really enjoy calisthenics—hitting 20+ pull-ups, dips, and even knocking out a few muscle-ups. I sorted my diet, got down to 80kg, and felt sharper in every way.
Complacency Can Hit Just as Hard as a Downward Spiral
Then came a move into a new house. A mundane routine and a painful back injury slowly pushed fitness to the side again.
So now I’m writing this blog—to motivate myself, reflect on where I’ve been, and document the process of getting back on track.
If any of this hits home, I hope you find something in it that sparks your own reset.
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